My Kinda Mess - eBook Read online

  I’ve only run into her a few times since that night, and our pleasant greetings in passing in the hallway wasn’t anywhere close enough to quench my thirst for her. If anything, it’s only fueled the fire.

  Loud music suddenly pulses through the wall, a hard and fast beat with deep bass and screaming vocals. Rock music. My kinda music. My eyes zero in on the white wall that divides her place from mine. I can practically feel the beat vibrating the floor, shaking the mismatched plates in the cabinets.

  What in the hell is she doing? Lexi doesn’t strike me as the classic rock kinda girl, but hell, I find myself questioning everything I’ve come to expect and assume about the fiery brunette. She’s completely turning my world upside down, keeping me on my toes in the best way possible. She’s unexpected, that’s for sure, but for some reason, I don’t seem to find the strength to give a single fuck.

  I’m picturing her now, relaxing after a long day at the salon in a bubble bath with some Jack Daniels. Her hair is up and all wild-like as Def Leppard rocks her into a deep state of peacefulness. Fuck, that’s my kinda woman, right there.

  Unable to stay away any longer, I slide my boots onto my feet, forgoing lacing them up, grab my keys, and head out of my apartment. The music isn’t horribly loud, but I’m surprised she has it up as loud as she does. It makes me wonder who lives below and above her that wouldn’t be bothered too much by the blast of her stereo.

  My knuckles rap hard on her door and a new wave of excitement rushes through my body. It starts at my fingers and ends at my cock, making me crazy-hard in about two point four seconds. That’s probably a new record since I stepped out of my adolescence.

  After a few very long, sexually charged seconds, the door flies open and a little old woman stands there, a bright smile on her worn face. She’s on the short side, like Lexi, and is looking at me like she’s about to eat me alive. Now, let me clarify that I was perfectly content, and well, hoping to have this look greet me, but that was when I assumed Lexi would be opening the door. But now? I’m not diggin’ it so much.

  “Come in, come in! I’m so glad you’re here! We’re ready to celebrate!” she exclaims, pulling on my arm until I’m inside the apartment.

  It’s somewhat dark inside, with only the overcast from the kitchen light illuminating the living room. I stop dead in my tracks when I see four girls, with drinks in their hands, all staring back at me with a mixture of eagerness and embarrassment written all over their faces. But what draws my attention is the woman sitting in the middle of the room, blindfolded.

  It’s Lexi.

  Or Abby.

  No, definitely Lexi. I’ve never gotten a boner just by being in the room with Abby before.

  “It’s time to get this thing started!” the little old woman hollers behind me, walking by and swatting me on the ass. “Oh, that’s nice,” she adds with an ornery grin and a wink.

  What in the hell is going on here?

  “We’re ready. Go!”

  “Go?” I ask, confused, and rubbing the back of my neck with my hand.

  “Strip! It’s why you’re here, right? My granddaughter, Alexis, is celebrating her divorce, and what a better way to rejoice than with a stripper! Oh, that agency was right. You are a delicious, big ol’ slab of meat. So, take it off! Take it off!” the woman chants, the girls standing off to the side giggling and chugging whatever is in their glasses (probably alcohol).

  “Grandma, this is completely not necessary,” Lexi says from the chair.

  “Zip it! It’s completely necessary to welcome you back into the dating world with some naked man meat. This is a cellllllllebrationnnnnnn, Alexis.”

  “Stop calling me that. I’m not even divorced yet.”

  “Semantics.” Walking up to her granddaughter, the old woman whispers loudly, “Hey, maybe you’ll get to sleep with the stripper. He’s super hunky with a great ass,” she adds with another wink sent my way.

  “Please don’t do this,” Lexi begs from her chair.

  “Too late. I’ve already paid the beefcake. Just sit there and enjoy. I know I’m ready,” Grandma says, pulling a folding chair nearby so she gets an up-close and personal view.

  My heart is hammering in my chest as I take in the room. The other occupants are staring at me expectantly, while Grandma grabs her phone, presumably to take pictures or video.

  Strip in a room full of woman?

  For Lexi?

  Fuck yes!

  Suddenly, the music changes to Warrant. “Cherry Pie” blares through the speakers, and I realize I’m at a fork in the road. I can get the hell out of this apartment, away from the crazy old woman who’s apparently into buying her grandkids strippers, and hide away from Lexi and her whacked family for the rest of my time in this building.

  Or, I can stay.

  And strip.

  A broad smile stretches across my face as I take in the anxiously nervous woman sitting before me. I wonder why she hasn’t removed her blindfold, and upon closer inspection, I realize her hands are also tied to the back of the chair.

  Perfect.

  I let the beat of the music wash over me as I make my way to the gorgeous woman who’s front and center in the room. Ignoring the gazing eyes of those around me, I bend down and run my nose up the side of her neck, inhaling her scent as I go. She shivers, a little gasp slips from those lush lips.

  She pulls against the restraints where her hands are bound and she turns into me. Her nose is against my own neck now as she inhales deeply. I wonder if she knows my scent as well as I know hers?

  Not wanting to end the game before it really begins, I stand up and straddle her lap. Then I start to move. Grabbing the back of her chair for leverage and grinding and dipping to the heavy beat of the music, I slowly lower myself until my cock is all but rubbing the tops of her thighs. There’s hooting and hollering echoing in the room behind me, but I don’t pay them any attention.

  Instead, I reach behind my neck and pull my tee over my head in one quick motion. Using the shirt as my new prop, I wrap it around her neck and pull her face into my chest. The feel of her breath against my body sends these amazing bolts of lust straight to my hard dick.

  I take my finger and run it from the center of her forehead, down her nose. When my finger reaches her lips, I can’t help but spend a little extra time touching them. Like a true dog, I imagine what it would be like to feel them wrapped around my cock as she sucked me off. The picture causes me to groan, and fortunately, it’s drowned out by Warrant.

  My fingers continue their downward trek as I graze her neck, her shoulder blades, and into her cleavage. She gasps beneath my touch, her chest heaving with each breath she tries to take.

  Needing to feel her hands on my body, I reach behind her and untie the belt that’s securing her to the chair. I continue to grind against her body and watch as she shakes her hands out before reaching for the blindfold.

  Well, we can’t have that, now can we?

  I grab her hands and slowly pull them down to her lap. I know as soon as she removes the cover over her eyes that the gig is up. She’ll probably throw me out of her apartment so fast, the door won’t even have a chance to hit me in the ass on my way out. Keeping her hands in my own, I stretch them out to the side, as if she were forming the letter T.

  Then I grind. Flexing my hips, I move forward until she can feel my erection against her chest. Again, she gasps as I dip my body back down to her lap and slide slowly along her thighs.

  Letting go of her hands, I spin around, set my ass in her lap, and grind against her in beat to the song. When her fingers connect with my chest, I almost come in my pants. My eyes are closed as I move, reveling in her touch as she explores my pecs and down to my abs with her long fingers.

  This might honestly be one of the greatest moments of my life.

  And I haven’t even fucked her.

  Her hands are splayed against my abs as I dip and move, ignoring the burn in my legs f
rom straddling her for so long. I rub against her body, feeling euphoric with each touch of her hands, my head falling back in the pure bliss of the moment. I don’t even give a shit that people are watching me. All I know is that I’m touching Lexi and she’s touching me.

  And it’s fucking amazing.

  Turning back around, I slowly run my thumbs from her wrists to her shoulders, feeling her pulse thundering beneath my touch. I take her hand in my own, palm out, and slide it down my chest, bumping and grinding to the song. Hooking her fingers in my jeans, I slowly unbutton the snap and lower the zipper.

  With her hands in my own, I slide her fingers into the elastic of my boxer briefs, watching as her throat bobs and her breath hitches. Movement catches the corner of my eye, and before I can register who has entered the room, I hear my name.

  “Linkin?” I hear, barely, over the music.

  Looking up, my gaze connects with the shocked one of Abby. With my name being said, three things happen very quickly. One, the music stops and we’re surrounded by a deafening silence. Two, Lexi rips off the blindfold that’s covering her eyes. And three, my dick ignores everything else and realizes that the fingers from one of her hands are still in my pants and very close to grazing the head of my cock. It’s crazy hard (no pun intended) not to focus solely on that third thing.

  “Oh my God,” Lexi says, glancing down and noticing exactly where her hand remains. She rips it from my pants as if it were on fire (her hands or my pants, I’m not sure which) and covers that luscious little O her mouth is forming.

  “Why is my neighbor taking off his clothes?” Abby gasps, her eyes bouncing from face to face and landing on the woman I now know as Grandma.

  “Your neighbor is a stripper?” Grandma asks, smiling broadly with a drink from her folding chair. “How convenient!”

  “You’re a stripper?” Abby asks. I can feel all eyes burning into me, including the woman I just gave a lap dance to.

  “Nope,” I confirm, crossing my arms over my bare chest, a smile spreading across my face.

  “You’re not a stripper?” Grandma asks, confused. “Then who are you?”

  “Linkin,” Lexi answers at the same time Abby says, “The neighbor.”

  “And you’re not a stripper?” Grandma asks, seeking confirmation, as she ogles my chest.

  “No, ma’am.”

  “Shame. You’d make a damn good one,” she chides, raising her cup before taking a long pull from her drink.

  “Thank you?” I say, my reply coming out a question.

  “No, thank you,” she says with a playful grin. “You made my night.”

  “Why are you stripping off your clothes in my apartment?” Lexi asks, her emerald green eyes following my chest down to my abs.

  “This is better than late night television,” a girl on the other side of the room says to the women around her. Clearly, they’re sisters. The resemblance is uncanny.

  “Linkin!” Lexi hollers, drawing my attention back to her flushed face and sexy little mouth.

  “Yeah?”

  “You? Stripping? My apartment?”

  “Making all of your fantasies come true, Firecracker,” I reply, a wide smirk on my face.

  “Hell yeah!” Grandma yells from her perch on the chair, her glass, once again, raised high in the air in toast.

  This family might be a little crazy.

  But I’m diggin’ it.

  A lot.

  Chapter Seven

  Lexi

  I can’t stop looking at his chest.

  Stop looking at his chest!

  But there were so many tattooed ripples and muscles that flexed and danced under my touch. I can’t even believe that my hot neighbor was just performing a striptease for me, in front of my family, nonetheless. And worse, I didn’t get to see it.

  Though, I sure as hell felt it!

  Linkin towers over me, gazing down with that little smirk I pretend to hate and pure wickedness reflecting in his eyes. This man is trouble. He’s a potent cocktail of sexiness mixed with bad boy, garnished with a smirk that makes my body hum with excitement.

  My mind replays the way his body felt beneath my fingertips. Without being able to see him, my other senses seemed heightened. I could smell his soap, mixed with aftershave and sweat. I could feel the warmth of his skin and every ripple and hard plain of his chest and abdomen. I could hear the steady beat of his heart and the way his breath sped up as he danced to the music.

  But most of all, I could sense his desire. It flowed from him in waves and rolled through my own body. Everything started to tingle from where his finger touched my forehead, all the way down to my pink-painted toenails. Honestly, the entire experience was sexy has hell, and I didn’t even get to see it.

  Dammit.

  “Seriously, Linkin. Why are you in my living room, not wearing a shirt?” I ask. I’m sure my sisters are loving the hell out of this.

  “Because I was invited.”

  “By my eighty-one-year-old grandmother.”

  “You liked it.”

  “I didn’t,” I deny, but I’m pretty sure the breathiness in my words makes them fail to hit their mark. A single eyebrow shoots into his hairline just as a knock sounds on the door.

  “I’ll get it!” Grandma exclaims, jumping up and heading to the entrance. Linkin and I are still staring each other down when a commotion at the front door draws my attention.

  “Look who’s here! The stripper,” Grandma coos, clapping her hands and practically jumping for joy.

  “I think it’s safe to say the party’s over,” I say, getting up and standing beside my neighbor. He’s still shirtless, and my eyes automatically zero in on the broadness of his chest and the dark smattering of hair that was tickling my fingertips just a few minutes ago.

  “What’s your name?” Grandma asks the young man standing beside her.

  “Xander.”

  “Xander,” Grandma repeats, drawing out the name and clearly checking him out. He’s definitely decent looking, but he doesn’t have the height or muscle mass that Linkin has. I’d know. I recently had my hands all over him. “I’m going to need to see the goods, Xander. Take off your shirt.”

  The young man glances at us all, unsure of what to do.

  “You might as well do it. She won’t let you leave until she ogles your chest,” Payton tells the young man.

  He hesitates, but only for a moment, before stripping off his tight shirt.

  “Not bad,” Grandma says sitting back down in the folding chair. “I’m going to need to see you dance, Xander. AJ, start the music, please? Lexi, take a seat in the chair again.”

  “What? No,” I state at the exact same time Linkin says, “Hell no.” His stance is firm, his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes blazing something that resembles anger.

  “Oh, don’t be a stick in the mud, you two. I paid for a stripper and I’m going to get a stripper.”

  “But we already saw Linkin dance,” Meghan says.

  “Yes, we did,” AJ mumbles, trying to hide her smile, as Abby shoves her elbow into her side. “What?”

  “That was just a nice bonus. Yes, very nice, indeed,” Grandma says and that’s the moment I realize her frail little hand is sliding up and down Linkin’s six-pack.

  Suddenly, there’s another knock at the door. I start to make my way in that direction, but am cut off by the oldest woman in the room.

  “Oh, look! Another stripper!” Grandma hollers, holding the door open for a cop.

  “Uh, Grandma, I don’t think that’s a stripper,” Meghan says.

  “I’m here to check out reports of loud music and a disturbance,” the officer says, scanning the room, his eyes landing on the two half-naked men in the center.

  “Yes, yes you are, Officer. Do me a favor and lose the shirt, will ya? We’re already primed and ready to go, thanks to Linkin,” Grandma tells the cop who’s looking at her as if she grew a second head.


  “Excuse me?”

  “Your shirt. Your pants. Lose them. Or, as we used to say back at the club, take ‘em off, hot stuff!”

  “The club?” I ask, turning and looking at Abby, who’s just as confused as I am.

  “Did she tell him to drop his drawers?” Payton asks Meghan, who’s looking at AJ like she might throw up.

  “Yes, yes, the club. That’s another story for another day, ladies,” she says with a dismissive wave of her hand. Then she turns back to the officer who doesn’t know whether to be amused, upset, or run for his life.

  “Hot stuff?” the officer asks, his hands positioned firmly on his hips. As if it were happening in slow motion, Grandma reaches behind him and grabs a handful of ass, making him jump.

  “No!” we all holler at the same time, but it’s too late.

  “Very nice. I’d like to see it in the g-string,” Grandma says before finishing off her drink. “Now, let’s be a good boy and show me the goods.”

  * * *

  “Soooo, that was your grandma?” Linkin asks as I walk him to my door after he helped me clean up my apartment. Oh, I tried to get him to leave, but the stubborn mule was persistent.

  “Don’t remind me. I can’t believe she felt up the cop.”

  “She’s great,” he says with a hearty laugh. “I’m still trying to figure out how she got out of being arrested.”

  “She’s always had this uncanny ability to sweet talk her way out of anything, but even I’m surprised we weren’t calling Grandpa to come get her out of jail,” I say as we reach the door.

  “What was the club?” he says, bending down to grab the full bag of garbage sitting along the way by the door.

  “No clue. And honestly, I probably don’t want to know either.”

  Linkin stares down at me for several seconds, making my heartbeat kick up a few notches. I’m suddenly aware that we’re alone. In my apartment. At night. I’ve seen his gloriously naked chest, and suddenly, the thought of seeing said chest again is all I want to do.

  Maybe touch it again.

  And lick it.

  Yeah, I definitely wouldn’t mind licking it.